From Jackson to Jerusalem
Match #: 1173&1174
for each to write their story individually, then combine the two. When we discovered how similar our stories
turned out to be we decided to post both as yet another example of how we both
function from the same wave length………………
FROM HER PERSPECTIVE:
would never find my besheret unless I changed my life in one of three
ways: move to New
York, move to Israel
or go searching on the internet. I
always enjoy visiting New York City
but never wished to live there, I had a
lovely position in my profession and
definitely did not feel I had the koach to make aliyah on my own. The only option, as I saw it, was the third
who does portrait photography as one of several hobbies, organized a ‘photo-opt’ at my house on a bright
fall Sunday afternoon for myself and several 50+ single female friends, all of
whom she had also convinced their best option was the internet, specifically,
JWed.com. Some of these friends are
widowed and some are divorced.
was officially launched into the virtual world to find a spouse. While I was quite proficient at using software
at work, in other respects, I had what would be called archaic skills in all
areas having to do with computer technology.
As a matter of fact, I did not own a computer at the time and so was
relegated to using the computer at the library or at one of my daughters’
energy to my new enterprise, never really believing I would be successful but I
did buy a computer. During that time I
had many interesting email interactions with
men, most of who, in my age range, said that they were searching for a
woman with whom they might have children.
I learned that one
of the advantages to looking for a spouse at my age (now 64) is that, at the
very least, I was aware of what areas I would be able to compromise in as well
as areas for which I had zero tolerance.
I was also aware of possible dangers involved in meeting someone face to
face whom I had met on the internet and so, the need to do a thorough background check beforehand. There was no doubt, if the information was
not forthcoming, I would not be arranging a meeting.
time and emotional energy in this ‘project’ and informed my daughter I had many
more productive and fruitful ways to
sign off “JWed” post haste. As I was
about to do so, I noticed one more profile that had not caught my attention
before and decided to send out one more email.
The reply I received from Fishel sparked further interest so I sent
another email stating that, regardless of what happened between the two of us,
I planned to sign off of JWed.
Shortly after, he asked if we might therefore share email
of that year, after upgrading to the phone, we decided we would meet one
another and chose a ‘pareve’ city halfway between our respective hometowns in
which to spend Shabbos. After an
extended weekend in which we did almost non-stop information sharing about our
lives, our spiritual involvement, our lifestyles, our families, pets, etc.,
Fishel now claims he knew he had met his besheret. For my part, being a bit more cautious by
nature, I left for a week of solitude, camping in the Allegany
Mountains where I in the past have
done some of my best thinking.
That year, because of my job responsibilities, it was
difficult for me to take off to spend time with Fishel but fortunately many of
the Yomin Tovim were three days, also including Shabbos. What better opportunity to gain an
understanding of where one is holding, spiritually speaking, that to spend
Shabbos and Yom Tov together. We did
this a few times, and finally, after spending Simchat Torah in his community,
davening at his shul and meeting his friends and family, I flew home knowing
without a doubt that if this lovely man should decide to propose to me, I would
accept. I understood that marriage to
Fishel would also include aliyah as he had sold his house, his car and had
flight arrangements to Israel.
spend his last Shabbos in the States with me.
As it happened, that Thursday night, I was making Sheva Brochos at my
house for the daughter of one of my dear friends. Fifteen minutes before my guests arrived
Fishel proposed and I accepted. My
neighbor provided him Shabbos hospitality and we davened at my shul. After
Shabbos my daughter made a L’Chaim for us and the following day I took him to
the airport to catch his flight to Israel
where he set in motion much of what was needed for our lives together in Israel.
Rosh Chodesh Elul and are now happily ensconced in our cozy Israeli apartment,
waiting to begin ulpan next week.
one last email on JWed!
FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE:
another Jewish dating site for about one year.
I had decided I would not initiate any more emails but would continue to
respond to those who cared to correspond with me.
profile. She stated in her profile that
on Shabbos she enjoys sitting by a roaring fire. I responded by asking her how an Orthodox
person could take care of a fire on Shabbos.
She thanked me for this question responding that she uses long burning
artificial logs which she lights prior to lighting her Shabbos candles. Sarah Leah also promptly changed this part of
her profile feeling that others might misunderstand as I had.
from biking to camping to books we had both enjoyed. The more the emails went back and forth the
more I came to see that I had found a
genuine woman – someone whose religious values, family values and understanding
of integrity were as mine are. Her
positive outlook and sense of the whimsy and ironies in life were and remain
endearing. When we began speaking on the
phone I came to know her even better.
When Sarah Leah would begin a conversation with “should I tell you the
interesting thing that happened at work today?”, I knew I was in for a
treat. If the story was about her it
would be funny and if it was about someone else it would be endearing. Sarah Leah and I exchanged rabbinic
references. I was very pleased to be
sharing this information. Her Rabbi
painted a picture of a righteous woman.
years away from even thinking about aliyah.
we extended our stay by an extra day. Toronto
was a ‘neutral’ city where each of us had friends with whom we could stay. The
time flew by and it felt good being in her company. I left for home feeling the woman I had met
was a definite ‘keeper’.
For Rosh Hashanah I went to Cleveland
and on Simchat Torah, Sarah Leah came to Montreal
and met my friends and family. All
agreed she is someone special. Her
family and friends approved of me.
and she accepted. Then, I was away on my
topics in the belief that, if we could sustain a growing relationship long
distance, we would be able to accomplish wonders face to face. We covered as many relevant areas as we could possibly think of, finances being a big
one as we are now both retired. Both of
us felt we had learned much from previous marriages. Sarah Leah suggested we both read and share
our feelings about a book entitled “The Intimate Enemy or How to Fight Fair in
Love and Marriage” by Dr George R. Bach and Peter Wyden, written in the 60’s
but chock full of timeless ideas. As we
decided to underline the parts that were relevant to each of us, we came to see
that we were both underlining the same sections. This is one of many examples we have discovered
of how we share the same wave length.
I love this beautiful lady and feel fortunate that she loves
me. We currently are shopping for
folding bikes and tents with which we plan to explore our homeland.
We thought the best way for us to write our story would be
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