1 Story, 2 versions: His & Hers
Match #: 2081&2082
I met my wife on JWed in 2006. Since we lived in different states, we started by e-mailing on your website and speaking over the phone. We had instant chemistry and high compatibility, but when I started gearing up to fly out to meet her, we found one hashkafic issue that we simply could not agree upon. We discussed it many times, but we could not find common ground on that point. Additionally, I started to wonder how many times we could fly back and forth for dates, from both a time and a money perspective. With disappointment, I broke it off. I believed that it was the mature thing to do. We did not even get to a first date.
We both moved on. Two or three years later, I had moved to New York, the state where she lived. I was sitting at a Washington Heights mixed singles Shabbos meal (for all of our non-New York readers, this is a very typical occurrence in that neighborhood), when I was talking with a single lady who said that my personality is a great match for her friend. When she told me her friend’s name, I said I remember her from years prior. I would like to meet her in person. Now that we both lived in New York, there was no long distance obstacle. Besides, a lot can change over time, even a hashkafic issue.
I took her out on our first date to an improv comedy show. She was even more beautiful than she looked in the pictures, and our chemistry was still electrifying. At the end of our first date, there was no need to go home and think about whether to go on a second date, and then call the shadchan. Before the night was over, we both said we wanted to go out again. We worked together on the hashkafic issue until we found a place we could both be comfortable. Five months later, I proposed to her. A few weeks from now, we look forward to celebrating our second year anniversary together.
When people ask how we met, we have been known to retort, “Which time?” Although our first date in fact started with a suggestion by a mutual friend, our first introduction was through JWed. Thank you, JWed.
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I was in the dating world for about seven years, and was on JWed for most of the time. I first noticed this picture of a guy playing guitar and curiously read how he “goes through withdrawal during the three weeks” since he can’t listen to music. It was entertaining enough, and I messaged him.
We exchanged messages for a while before moving to the phone. Our conversation flowed, and there seemed to this energy between us. We shared many long conversations before planning to meet. However, we faced two obstacles. We had a hashkafic issue, and lived in different states. I still wanted to meet, but he decided to break it off. We stopped speaking, and moved on.
About three years later, my friend wanted to set me up with a guy she met at a Shabbos table who she said would be “perfect” for me. After saying his name, I said that I already knew him and shared the story. I was hesitant, but my friend said that she already asked him and he said he wanted to go out.
Speaking to him again was like speaking to him three years ago. It was as though we never stopped talking, still having the energy and flowing conversation. I was concerned before our date that meeting in person would be different. However, it was just like our phone interactions. The date was amazing, and so began our relationship. The hashkafic issue came up again, but this time we worked it out. We both felt that our connection was too important to not work through it. After all, how many times would we find something like this? We dated for five months until we were engaged. Next month, we will celebrate our two year anniversary.
Hashem has a plan for everyone, but sometimes it’s difficult to see it until later. You never know what could happen when you speak to people, or when giving them a second chance. I never thought that we would date after we stopped talking. Dating can be very difficult, and it’s hard to continuously have hope and be open-minded. We spent years dating other people before meeting each other. We saw how Hashem had a plan for us. It showed us the importance of taking everything Hashem sends us seriously and to be open-minded. You might meet the right person but it might not be the right time until later. May Hashem help every single have a smooth path towards finding the right person at the right time.
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