I got sick of the 'you should just be grateful he breathes' attitude some matchmakers had!

Match #: 139&140

I glanced across the crowded room - there must have been seven or eight hundred people packed like sardines into the tiny hall. Then, on the other side of the room, I saw her - I knew immediately......this was my "bashert."

Ok, so this isn't what happened!

   
She said: After a broken engagement led me to New York from Los Angeles in March of 2001, I was ready to date again. Iâve never been very good at the Shadchanit thing. They all wanted to fix me up with men who were closer to my parents' age. I got sick of the "you should just be grateful he breathes" attitude some of these matchmakers had. He Said: After my divorce, I didnât know how get back into the "dating game." The last time I had had a date, Brian Mulroney was Prime Minister of Canada (For you Americans, trust me...it was a long, long, long time ago.). Some friends suggested that I try a professional shadchan, but the ones that were recommended were more expensive than an East Coast Bar-Mitzvah
 

She Said: I had been on J-date, a well-known computer dating site for Jewish singles, but after a couple years, I got tired of guys who wrote to me that although perfectly nice, had nothing in common with me. He Said: I had tried different dating web sites. Some sites had lists that were so out-of-date that some of the women I contacted were already married and on their second child, while other sites had participants that had nothing in common with me.
She Said: My friend Heather suggested I try a new website called JWed.com. I checked it out and felt that maybe it would be little more focused than J-date. I'm a hard person to put in a neat little Hashkafa box, and especially as I started to get older, people didn't know what to do with me, or who to fix me up with. He Said: In a personal profile on another web site, I saw that a person had referenced JWed.com for any e-mail replies. So I ăsurfedä over and was instantly impressed by the layout of the website and ease-of-use of the web tools. On the site there were recent, detailed listings of frum women complete with pictures and well thought out profiles.
She Said: On JWed, I felt like I could at least have an opportunity to present myself in the essays in a way that people might see a little bit more of who I am. The two most important components of my profile were making sure to really take my time with the essays, and including a picture. The picture was very important! I dressed up, tried to make sure my hair and make-up was perfect, and had my friend, Colin, take a ton of digital shots with all kinds of poses. Then my dear friends, Jean and Colin, and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out which photo was best for me. We finally settled on a picture after much debate.

He Said: I signed up on JWed and started my own profile. With the direct questions it was so easy to make my profile. When it came to posting a picture, I just "grabbed" the only digital photo that I had. Around a year-and-a-half previous, some eighth grade students snapped a picture of me wearing my ever present lab coat. So what if I had lost nearly fifty pounds since then, it was a picture wasn't it?

She Said: A lot of men had written to me in the 1 1/2 years that I was on JWed, but I was always more comfortable answering someone whose picture I had seen, just so I could get a sense of who I am communicating with. When I checked out Yossie's profile and picture, after he first contacted me, I have to admit that his picture was not very flattering. I remember thinking, "Wow, I hope this is just a really bad picture." (Check it out for yourselves, people. I submit the above picture of "Yossie in lab coat" as exhibit A. I rest my case.) Luckily, his profile was kind of charming. But it was the initial note he wrote to me that really made me interested . . . He Said: When I reviewed the on-line profiles, it was the entries that had photographs that attracted my attention the most. I saw one profile that had a beautiful picture attached to it. It was a head-and-shoulder shot that had the profile's owner gazing off into the distance. I was quite mesmerized by it; it seemed to have this "holy, kabalistic" look. I carefully reviewed this lady's profile and thought that if only one quarter of her profile was accurate, this woman was a most amazing person! 
She Said: Yossie wrote a great note to me. It was heartfelt, thorough and told me about why he thought we might be compatible. It also reflected a bit of his sense of humor (which was very important to me). I quickly jotted off a cute reply and the correspondence began. After speaking on the phone a couple of times, and having good conversation, we decided to meet. He Said: So, I sat down and began to compose my letter of introduction to her. I carefully went through her profile and indicated areas that I thought were very interesting. I explained about some of my own experiences that I thought might make her interested in corresponding with me. It took me nearly an hour to write that first letter! I reviewed it and ăpolished itä until I thought it was just right. And so I sent it. I waited for half a day or so and then I got a response! That response led to a few more notes, and then a meeting.
She Said: I was a few minutes late for our first meeting at Barnes and Nobles for coffee. I quickly said a silent prayer, "Dear G-d, please don't let him be a total geek." When I met him there, I was relieved to see his picture was not very accurate. He was cute and only slightly geeky (must of been the nerves), but more importantly, I noticed how sweet and kind he was, with kind of a goofy sense of humor. He Said: Our first meeting was at Barnes and Noble. I was terrified. What would she be like in person? Would I like her? Would she like me? Would she agree to go on a date with me. It was definitely an Adavan (any medical types out there reading this??) moment!
She Said: I have a rule: Say yes (to going out, to the possibilities etc.) until it becomes clear that the answer is no. I was happy to say yes to him for a second date. And then one after that and so on. I never did feel a "no" about this. He Said: Well, that first meeting lead to a date, then another date, yet another date and so on until today. Now I can say that I am engaged to my bashert!
She Said: It was scary for me to get engaged again. But Yossie was so sure and so patient with me. He is truly the most amazing person and I'm blessed beyond belief to have him in my life! And to think, I had almost taken myself off of JWed and given up all together! He Said: Batsheva is wonderful. A true Aishes Chayil! I have never been so happy in my life!! All the best midos that a person can have is contained in the Neshama of my bashert! If it were not for JWed, I would have been journeying in the dark, bumping and stumbling until I had found Batsheva. All I can say is Baruch Hâ for JWed (and Batsheva OF COURSE!!!!!!!).

Batsheva and Yossie Frankel were married on Lag B'Omer, Sunday May 9th, 2004

I got sick of the 'you should just be grateful he breathes' attitude some matchmakers had!

I glanced across the crowded room - there must have been seven or eight hundred people packed like sardines into the tiny hall. Then, on the other side of the room, I saw her - I knew immediately......this was my "bashert."

Ok, so this isn't what happened!

   
She said: After a broken engagement led me to New York from Los Angeles in March of 2001, I was ready to date again. Iâve never been very good at the Shadchanit thing. They all wanted to fix me up with men who were closer to my parents' age. I got sick of the "you should just be grateful he breathes" attitude some of these matchmakers had. He Said: After my divorce, I didnât know how get back into the "dating game." The last time I had had a date, Brian Mulroney was Prime Minister of Canada (For you Americans, trust me...it was a long, long, long time ago.). Some friends suggested that I try a professional shadchan, but the ones that were recommended were more expensive than an East Coast Bar-Mitzvah
 

She Said: I had been on J-date, a well-known computer dating site for Jewish singles, but after a couple years, I got tired of guys who wrote to me that although perfectly nice, had nothing in common with me. He Said: I had tried different dating web sites. Some sites had lists that were so out-of-date that some of the women I contacted were already married and on their second child, while other sites had participants that had nothing in common with me.
She Said: My friend Heather suggested I try a new website called JWed.com. I checked it out and felt that maybe it would be little more focused than J-date. I'm a hard person to put in a neat little Hashkafa box, and especially as I started to get older, people didn't know what to do with me, or who to fix me up with. He Said: In a personal profile on another web site, I saw that a person had referenced JWed.com for any e-mail replies. So I ăsurfedä over and was instantly impressed by the layout of the website and ease-of-use of the web tools. On the site there were recent, detailed listings of frum women complete with pictures and well thought out profiles.
She Said: On JWed, I felt like I could at least have an opportunity to present myself in the essays in a way that people might see a little bit more of who I am. The two most important components of my profile were making sure to really take my time with the essays, and including a picture. The picture was very important! I dressed up, tried to make sure my hair and make-up was perfect, and had my friend, Colin, take a ton of digital shots with all kinds of poses. Then my dear friends, Jean and Colin, and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out which photo was best for me. We finally settled on a picture after much debate.

He Said: I signed up on JWed and started my own profile. With the direct questions it was so easy to make my profile. When it came to posting a picture, I just "grabbed" the only digital photo that I had. Around a year-and-a-half previous, some eighth grade students snapped a picture of me wearing my ever present lab coat. So what if I had lost nearly fifty pounds since then, it was a picture wasn't it?

She Said: A lot of men had written to me in the 1 1/2 years that I was on JWed, but I was always more comfortable answering someone whose picture I had seen, just so I could get a sense of who I am communicating with. When I checked out Yossie's profile and picture, after he first contacted me, I have to admit that his picture was not very flattering. I remember thinking, "Wow, I hope this is just a really bad picture." (Check it out for yourselves, people. I submit the above picture of "Yossie in lab coat" as exhibit A. I rest my case.) Luckily, his profile was kind of charming. But it was the initial note he wrote to me that really made me interested . . . He Said: When I reviewed the on-line profiles, it was the entries that had photographs that attracted my attention the most. I saw one profile that had a beautiful picture attached to it. It was a head-and-shoulder shot that had the profile's owner gazing off into the distance. I was quite mesmerized by it; it seemed to have this "holy, kabalistic" look. I carefully reviewed this lady's profile and thought that if only one quarter of her profile was accurate, this woman was a most amazing person! 
She Said: Yossie wrote a great note to me. It was heartfelt, thorough and told me about why he thought we might be compatible. It also reflected a bit of his sense of humor (which was very important to me). I quickly jotted off a cute reply and the correspondence began. After speaking on the phone a couple of times, and having good conversation, we decided to meet. He Said: So, I sat down and began to compose my letter of introduction to her. I carefully went through her profile and indicated areas that I thought were very interesting. I explained about some of my own experiences that I thought might make her interested in corresponding with me. It took me nearly an hour to write that first letter! I reviewed it and ăpolished itä until I thought it was just right. And so I sent it. I waited for half a day or so and then I got a response! That response led to a few more notes, and then a meeting.
She Said: I was a few minutes late for our first meeting at Barnes and Nobles for coffee. I quickly said a silent prayer, "Dear G-d, please don't let him be a total geek." When I met him there, I was relieved to see his picture was not very accurate. He was cute and only slightly geeky (must of been the nerves), but more importantly, I noticed how sweet and kind he was, with kind of a goofy sense of humor. He Said: Our first meeting was at Barnes and Noble. I was terrified. What would she be like in person? Would I like her? Would she like me? Would she agree to go on a date with me. It was definitely an Adavan (any medical types out there reading this??) moment!
She Said: I have a rule: Say yes (to going out, to the possibilities etc.) until it becomes clear that the answer is no. I was happy to say yes to him for a second date. And then one after that and so on. I never did feel a "no" about this. He Said: Well, that first meeting lead to a date, then another date, yet another date and so on until today. Now I can say that I am engaged to my bashert!
She Said: It was scary for me to get engaged again. But Yossie was so sure and so patient with me. He is truly the most amazing person and I'm blessed beyond belief to have him in my life! And to think, I had almost taken myself off of JWed and given up all together! He Said: Batsheva is wonderful. A true Aishes Chayil! I have never been so happy in my life!! All the best midos that a person can have is contained in the Neshama of my bashert! If it were not for JWed, I would have been journeying in the dark, bumping and stumbling until I had found Batsheva. All I can say is Baruch Hâ for JWed (and Batsheva OF COURSE!!!!!!!).

Batsheva and Yossie Frankel were married on Lag B'Omer, Sunday May 9th, 2004

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