I never thought it would happen so quickly for me
Chaya (30) from Illinois & Ehron
Match #: 2069 & 2070
In April, 2011, I went back to Minneapolis in what I thought was going to be a short visit for Pesach. Unfortunately, my mother fell very ill and I stayed, closing my construction business remotely and even turning down a full tuition scholarship to grad school through the National Science Foundation. The following year and a half has shown a steady downward progress, the worst of which nearly lead to her death in Feb. 2012, at only 62 years old. She has made some small improvements recently. However, it has been very difficult to continue dating and while I still actively worked on the phone and internet in putting forth my effort, traveling wasn’t possible and I knew that if I were to hit it off with a woman on the phone I would have to pay for her to visit me.
In late May, I received an email through JWed that Beth was planning on visiting relatives in Minneapolis from Chicago in the coming week. We had been briefly in communication a few months prior. We spoke on the phone several times, and we met on a Sunday, the first week in June. Despite the internet introduction and phone conversations, it was quite traditional. Her mother drove up with her, they both met my parents and spoke with them for twenty minutes before I was even alerted to the fact that Beth had arrived! They hit it off from the start, without me! Our introduction date didn’t last more than an hour as they were to continue travel to see her grandmother further north, but we set a time for a second date the next day at Valley Fair Amusement Park. I was blessed because Beth didn’t hide her feelings. She told me on the second date that she thought I was the one – secretly I was on the same page, but having been through the dating ringer for 12 years I needed a few more dates to feel comfortable with that fact. Amazingly, my mother pestered me from date number four onward “nu, when are you going to propose?” And Saturday, still the same week, I told my mother I was going to propose and she said “you had better” as she as well as I recognized I had a gem in reach and for not to let her slip away. I proposed to her before midnight, after Shabbos, inside the same week that we met, only six dates! We will be married September 9, 2012, after only knowing each other for a bit more than three months!
I honestly didn’t think I would be the type to move so quickly, but all the dating experience, mentorship, dating seminar, torah classes, reading and deep reflection on my needs (not necessarily wants) all paid off. I knew very quickly, as did she, because of our commitment to asking Torah-based questions involving our views on family, children, relationships, G-d, Torah, etc. I always said I would never get engaged, let alone married, short of six month to a year. However, if you follow the Torah way, and you both know yourself and your needs, you will know quickly.
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